Empathy for the NIMBY

In Nathan’s latest column, he reflects on the understandable, human fears that fuel NIMBYism and how they stand in the way of building a truly resilient community.

At the last public meeting, I mocked the NIMBYs. I couldn’t help myself. One after another, people stepped up to the microphone to complain about parking spots, shadows on their lawns, or to quietly warn about “those people” moving into “their” neighbourhoods. It felt so small. So selfish. So exhausting.

I was angry because we are in a housing crisis and what we need is bold action, not another round of testimony about noise and traffic. I was angry because protecting your own comfort always comes at someone else’s expense, and it is the most vulnerable who are left with nowhere to go.

Still, there is something real beneath all the complaints. People want their families safe. They want their neighbourhoods familiar. They have poured everything into their homes and they are terrified of losing what little stability they think they have. These fears are not ridiculous. They are human. They come from a longing for control in a world that feels like it is slipping away. A home becomes the last fortress, the thing you can point to and say: this is mine, this is what I will pass on.

The tragedy is that the way people try to hold on only makes things worse. Stopping a single building does not protect stability, it just deepens the instability for everyone else. Clutching property values like an heirloom is not legacy, it is desperation. The only legacy that matters is whether your children can afford to stay in the place they grew up. Demanding control over one block does not give you power, it hands more power to the very system that is squeezing you.

Real stability is built through resilience and adaptation, not by freezing a city in time. A real legacy is found in a community that endures across generations, not just in a property line. Real safety comes from belonging, not from exclusion. And real control is collective, when a city decides together how to build for its people, not for its property.

And this is the part that stays with me. I want the same things the NIMBYs say they want. I want stability. I want safety. I want legacy and a sense of control. I want neighbourhoods where kids can grow up and still afford to live here. I want streets and parks where strangers become neighbours and neighbours become friends.

The difference is that I do not believe we get there by protecting our own patch of ground. We get there by choosing to live together instead of apart, by investing in housing and shared spaces, by building systems that put people first.

In the end, we are not as different as it seems. We are reaching for the same things. The only difference is which direction we reach.